I Probably Shouldn't Admit to This...

Not only is it a long story, but unbelievably true. Here we go.

Last night, my friend natalie decided that an old mutual friend of ours needed to give her her stuff back. This is of course, with a certain determination in her voice after drinking beers and rolling off of a few hours of unsatisfying sleep. I may have meant that last part more for me, but it was twelve thirty in the morning, two and a hlf hours past my usual bed time, and i had nothing better to do than to agree with her.

"I called her," she said. She had.
"She said she'd bring me my stuff." She sure did.

But homegirl sure didnt show up and we had been waiting aorund all day for her. That's when the moment of maddness seized us both becuase she said, "wanna go with me to break into her house?"
and i said, "sure."

next thing i know we are speeding down all the dark, street light-less streets in Tallahassee with a digital camera and a giddy laugh to arm us. It was about one o'clock when we got to her house but she wasn't home and her dogs were sounding the alarm that we had arrived. After opening up the back gate, finding an open window and shimming in through it....(and landing on a few things in the kitchen), we went around and started to loot like a motherf*cker.

Laughing and stealing, stealing and laughing and taking pictures like FOOLS. About...oh, say...SIX minutes in, I decide to play the good look out and check the front window. Who should I see but the owner of the house heading up the driveway.

Natalie is raiding the fridge when this happens.

"She's home...right now...we have to leave."

I hear a skeptical voice from the darkness. "What?"

When i bolted for the backdoor, she followed fashion and like the dolts we are. tried to pull an in door OUT. Frantic struggling, harsh whispering, success, we shot out into the night like the thieves we were and turned frantic circles trying to figure out where to go.

Can't hop the neighbor's fence on the right..he's in the marines and there is a backyard party next to him. Bush and train tracks straight back, along with pure darkness, and the other neighbor is just too far away from the car.

Fudge. I'm going to go to jail, were not going to get into Medschool (be worried) and im going to get raped in jail because i'm light skinned. Oh God, both of us.

We ditch the stuff behind the deck and pretend that we JUST got to her house and all. When she swings open the backdoor and there were are, bold faced and red handed.

A few knife pulls and arguments later, we bail before the cops arrive (yes, we did remember to take the stuff in the yard).

Today, dressed as regular citizens, we changed all the locks on the doors and the security code should some hoodlums try to rob from us our things we stole in honor.

I hate a thief.